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(plant a seed) lily [01 Jul 2009|09:53am]

(1 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) Grateful Dead, Hartford Civic Center, 04/26/09 [27 Apr 2009|07:15am] I took my daughter to her first DEAD show last night. In all likelihood, it will be my last show, I imagine. I had no plans to go, but some friends were going up and at the last minute we decided to join them. I figure it was Rhianna's last chanceo to ever see the Grateful Dead, and mine, too. We do have plans to see Bobby's band in July in Bridgeport at the Gathering of the Vibes, though. We had good seats, just up behind stage left, with a great view of Mickey and Billy. Sure, it's not quite the same without Jerry, but that Warren kid they brought on does a good job. I hadn't seen a DEAD show since Deer Creek, IN, in 1992, and, of course, Rhianna had never seen them. I did see Jerry Band in Hartford in 94, right there at the Civic Center. Anyway... Here's the set list: Set 1: Bertha Till The Morning Comes Little Red Rooster Row Jimmy All Along The Watchtower Glory Road West L.A. Fadeaway Cumberland Blues Set 2: The Weight> Tomorrow Never Knows> (The Beatles) Black Peter> Greatest Story Ever Told> Drums> Space> King Solomon's Marbles> Viola Lee Blues> Sampson & Delilah> Encore: Ripple

(plant a seed) I amaze myself...seriously. [04 Mar 2009|05:36pm] Okay, I've been hacking away at this translation project...marketing surveys conducted in London, with French tourists (thus, in French) all day, in this freezing aparment, and have delivered, now, 28,260 words worth of work since Monday. That's an average of 9,240 words/day. Dude...I rock. There is some repetition in these interviews, but not a lot, since what I have are transcripts from recordings of interviews conducted on the street, and the interviewere does not deliver the questions in precisely the same manner every time. I'm cranking. I'm going to try and knock off another 5000 or 6000 words tonight, even, and will have about the same left to do tomorrow. After that, I have another 16,000 word project from the same client to deliver on Monday. This second project will be more difficult, legislation from Algeria, not street interviews. It will not go as quickly as this current project. Sleep is not currently an option. I hadn't been sleeping much lately, anyway, but before it was because I was either anxious/stressed/worried, or painting obsessively. I much prefer not sleeping because I have paid work to do. I'm glad I made a HUGE pot o' chili two days ago, and won't have to cook for a couple of days... Anyway...back to work!

(1 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) updates [04 Mar 2009|01:37pm] So, I've manage to survive another serious bout with deep, deep depression. The added anxiety of having my lowest translation sales ever for the month of February did not help at all. I've been very worried about our financial situations. But, a few things have happened. First, in this first week of March I have already received work, and a HUGE project, at that. I've been working night and day on it since Monday. If the rest of the month brings more work, this project will make up for what we lacked in February. I have succeeded, finally, in renting the additional bedroom in our apartment. Also, we began receiving child support from Rhianna's mother, for the first time in 9 years (they are withdrawing it from her SSi disability check, so she has no choice, now). So, looks like, at least for now, we're going to survive. Thanks for tolerating my depressed whininess. I don't feel any less alone or upset about my wife abandoning us, now 6 months ago. I still feel quite alone, really, but, now that I have a HUGE project, and other clients asking me for availibility, etc., I am at least relieved that we should be able to survive without losing our apartment or having the utilities shut off on us. We're not quite out of the woods, yet, but I believe we are on the path. The budget will remain quite tight until I have a few months running with at least average sales, which I have not seen in about 8 months. I had a couple of average months, but many dismal months, this last, February, being the worst yet. But, at least with March off to a darned good start, I feel better about that. Work, if nothing else, distracts me from the loneliness. I mean, it is better, after all, to be alone and with some financial security than to be alone and on the verge of homelessness. Just to clarify, as I mentioned, we're not out of the woods. We're still behind with the gas company, and I've even applied for energy assistance, not sure how good the prospect is of acquiring it. We've received food from a local jewish food pantry, for which we are quite grateful. I am sitting here working with the heat on 50 degrees, as has been my habit of late. At least today I have a portable space heater that the new roommate sold me for $20. The rest of the house is very cold. I have delivered over 25k words in translation work in the past two days...a notable feat. I have about 16,000 more to deliver in the next 48 to 56 hours, so, back to work.

(plant a seed) Disorder in the American Courts (from an e-mail sent to me on a translators list) [22 Feb 2009|01:19pm] > These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and > now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm > while these exchanges were actually taking place. > > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? > WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? > WITNESS: My name is Susan! > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? > WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. > ____________ _________ _________ ____________ __ > ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? > WITNESS: No, I just lie there. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? > WITNESS: I forget. > ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? > ____________ _________ _________ _________ ____ > ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? > WITNESS: We both do. > ATTORNEY: Voodoo? > WITNESS: We do. > ATTORNEY: You do? > WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? > ____________ _________ _________ ______ > ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year- old, how old is he? > WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ ____ > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? > WITNESS: Are you joking me? > ____________ _________ _________ _________ __ > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? > WITNESS: getting laid > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: How many were boys? > WITNESS: None. > ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? > WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a > new attorney? > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? > WITNESS: By death. > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? > WITNESS: Take a guess. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? > WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. > ____________ _________ _________ _______ > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a > deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. > ____________ _________ _________ ________ > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? > WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ __ > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? > WITNESS: Oral. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ __ > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? > WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? > WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? > ____________ _________ _________ ________ > And the best for last: > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you > began the autopsy? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. > ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

(1 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) panic attack [22 Feb 2009|09:22am] Yesterday I had a panic attack, or anxiety attack, as they are also known. I awoke at 4 am, hearing running water, and went into the bathroom to find water running into the hallway. Something had broken in the toilet tank, so that the valve wouldn't close, and the tank overfilled. I shut off the water to the tank. I later placed a call to the management's maintenance dept. to which they have not yet responded (I turn on the water to fill the tank and flush, when necessary, then shut it off again). Anyway, that just woke me up. I came into my office and started reading news...more and more unemployment, businesses closing, etc., etc. I looked at my sales this month. I've sold $1300 worth of translations this month. The rent alone is $1050. I am behind with the gas, electric, cable...If they shut off the electric or cable, I can't work, since I work on the computer and need access to the internet. If I can't work, well, we'll soon lose everything. I looked at job postings, which I've been doing lately, trying to find some work outside the home, even though, the more I am out, the less translation work I will get. Clients inquire, via e-mail, about your availability, and if you don't respond quick, they find someone else. But I've got to do something... The only jobs I can find that will provide any useful income at all are waiter jobs, and they require nights and weekend. I'm a single parent, now, since my wife abandoned us, with nobody to care for my daughter. So I can only work during school hours. I can't find work. I'm not getting enough translation work. I have clients that owe me for work I did as far back as November, with no recourse to collect. I have all of $200 in the bank, while I am behind with the cable, electric and gas to the tune of something like $1200, with $1050 in rent due within the week. I don't know how I'm going to keep the lights on, the rent paid, a roof over our heads...I don't know how I'm going to make sure my daughter's needs are met. We have no family to help, nowhere to go... I'm afraid we will soon be homeless, like so many others in these hard times. Here, all the shelters are full, too. We'll be just one more statistic, on more on the infinte list of victims of our ruined economy (thanks, Republicans). I'm experiencing severe depression, and, now, anxiety attacks. I could not breathe. I was hyperventilating for nearly an hour, with fits of crying. I tried to take a bath and calm myself, to no avail. Eventually I got so dizzy, I laid down on my bed and passed out. I've been doing everything I know to do. I've been bidding and bidding on jobs posted to translator sites. I used to get about 80% of what I bid on. Now clients send "tests", which are done for free, of 200 or 300 words, then never get back with paid work. I'm scouring craigslist and the papers looking for work. I've been trying unsuccessfully to put a roommate in the spare room (which used to be my office, until I moved the office to the living room). I'm at a loss for what to do.

(2 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) usually [16 Feb 2009|03:23pm] Usually I deal with depression a lot better. It just seems that nearly everything that could go wrong has done so in the past 6 months. My life has turned into a bad country song.

(5 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) valentine 2 [16 Feb 2009|01:20pm] valentine 2 acrylic on aquarelle 12 x 9

(1 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) las noticias [16 Feb 2009|11:30am] He estado muy deprimido...me estoy sentiendo muy solo. Me trocaron los remedios, ya que el Abilify no me ayudaba más, y podía tomar el trazedon y aún quedarme dispierto por horas sin dormir. A mi la vida me parece muy injusto de todos los modos. He trabajado tanto, he estudiado tanto, y luchado a amar y tratar a los demas con compasión y generosidad, más a mi no me queda nada. Mis negocios andan tan despacio que no me queda dinero bastante para pagar la luz, la gas, nada, y me van a cortar los servicios, pues, sin electricidad, no estaré capaz de ni trabajar. Me falta dinero para pagar el alquiler. Estoy perdiendo todo...Mi empreza, mi esposa, mi casa... Nada me queda. Nadie me quiere. Estoy solo y sin recurso. Ya que los primeros 40 años de mi vida me han traido solamente desengaño y desilusion, ni me queda esperanza...¿Para que guardaría esperanza? ¿Para engañarme aún más? ciao.

(plant a seed) happy... [15 Feb 2009|11:33pm] [ music | delasonica ] valentine acyrlic on aquarelle 14 x 11

(plant a seed) Gralfange [15 Feb 2009|08:23am] I was looking through my older paintings when I ran across this one: Gralfange Which I think is particularly good. yeah...I used myself as a model. Cute, no? Maybe this is why I don't get dates? Anyway, I actually gave the background more of an environment, which I haven't been doing much lately. The title, "Gralfange", comes from a character in "Knight of Chaos" by Dexter Herron, aka dragoncaller, likely the most hilarious fantasy novel I have ever read. Clearly, I am not likely to be hired to make book covers, like artists such as Luis Royo or Boris Vallejo. Nonetheless, it is a good painting, and, perhaps I should make more like it. More creative than simple portraits. Then again, its not exactly the kind of thing folks buy to hang in the parlour, either, and I would like to sell some art and make some dough, too... I've been wanting to create...create something that hasn't been created...something different. I don't know...

(3 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) nada [15 Feb 2009|06:36am] I didn't receive a single Valentine... Not a phone call, not a card...not even a home made valentine from my daughter.

(plant a seed) samba [14 Feb 2009|03:00pm] samba acrylic on aquarelle 14 x 11

(plant a seed) what's been left behind? [14 Feb 2009|01:43am] what's been left behind? acrylic on aquarelle 12 x 9

(6 blossoms blooming |plant a seed) portrait of a muse [11 Feb 2009|11:13pm] portrait of a muse acrylic on aquarelle 11 x 14

(plant a seed) prints [11 Feb 2009|10:50am] Just a reminder. High quality, framed or unframed, prints of much of my work are available at my DA print shop.

(plant a seed) lips like sugar [11 Feb 2009|10:39am] lips like sugar sugar kisses... acrylic on aquarelle 11 x 14 looks like watercolor, doesn't it? I've been experimenting with these more washy/watercolory techniques.

(plant a seed) guitar [10 Feb 2009|10:54pm] guitar acrylic on aquarelle 9 x 12

(plant a seed) sad moon [10 Feb 2009|02:15pm] sad moon. acrylic on canvas 11 x 14

(plant a seed) moonlight dance [09 Feb 2009|11:11pm] moonlight dance acrylic on canvas 11 x 14

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